Family

EyesUp Rolling #2 – a pinch is not a hill, even though it feels like one

When you travel around Sydney on a bicycle, you suddenly start to realise that very few roads are actually flat at all.  However light your fancy road bike, suddenly every rise and fall in the route is amplified.  Travelling up hill remains my biggest challenge both physically and mentally.

Over a few weeks of training I’ve gained some confidence in my ability to make it, however slowly, to the top of most hills – clip in shoes are a definite help here despite being a serious barrier to my previous hill climbing strategy of just getting off and walking.

On my first proper group ride I was consistently confused by the call of “pinch coming up”, followed by a rise in the terrain and the associated dropping down through the gears and shortening of breath.  I relaxed a little when no one behind me actually used an old fashioned finger pinch to encourage me up the hill faster, but given I couldn’t speak after the climb I kept forgetting to ask for an explanation.  On reviewing my Strava feed later, I could see numerous sections labelled as “Pinch” – I was intrigued. (For those not familiar with Strava, it’s social media for cyclists, perhaps a subject of a future blog!).

I eventually summoned up the courage to ask a riding buddy what a pinch was.  The explanation was simple – it’s the psychological trick cyclists use of not referring to a hill as such unless it is truly worthy of the label.  A Pinch is something you must simply power up and absolutely not complain about.

Armed with this knowledge and approach, I recently completed my first ride of over 100kms.  As I reflected on this achievement, I took some time to ponder some of the reasons I’ve undertaken this Westpac Tour 200 challenge.  Starting with the funerals I wish I had never been to.

The mother of my son’s friend at childcare who lost her battle with breast cancer in her 30s. The father of a family with boys the same ages as mine who died from melanoma in his early 40s.  The amazing woman who would have been my sister-in-law now if she hadn’t been taken at the age of 39 by ovarian cancer.  The friend who undertook radical surgery and treatment to survive many years longer than predicted to just see his son reach 17 years old.

When I think of these people I find both inspiration in their approach to their situations and frustration that an answer could not be found – I want to feel that I can do something, however small, to prevent this happening to someone else.

 

 

The work of Tour De Cure and similar organisations is vital in funding initiatives and research to support cancer patients, their loved ones and work towards better treatments and research, as well as raising awareness in the community of how getting fit and staying healthy can help prevent many cancers.  I have an opportunity to make a difference, simply by putting some time aside to train, enduring some physical pain and fundraising through my network of friends, family and business contacts.

Those fighting cancer have hills and mountains to climb step by step every day.  I have a small, insignificant pinch of 300kms to power up which can make a difference.

I’m looking for 100 people with $100 each to support me as I ride – thank you to those who’ve helped me get 20% of the way there with 7 weeks to go!  I’m sure there are at least 80 more of you out there, so please donate what you can to my fundraising page here and follow this blog to track my progress.

Ride safe everyone and keep those EyesUp!

 

Advertisement
0 CommentsLeave a comment

Eyes Up #13 – #MakeItHappen – Hell Yeah!

centredinternationalwomensday

As I contemplated the messages from this year’s International Women’s Day, I realised the reason I haven’t been blogging for a few weeks is because of the sheer amount of interesting events I’ve been attending and the interesting people I’ve been meeting and hearing from.  IWD has become a high profile event in the calendar and a fantastic catalyst to examine how we are both recognising the contribution of women in our society and taking personal accountability for championing change.  This theme was highlighted in my last post, and my recent observations have reinforced my belief that we can all Make Things Happen for ourselves.

A year ago my commitment on IWD 2014 was to ensure I started meaningful conversations on how the way we interact is subject to our own conscious and unconscious biases – most of which are a product of our cultural background and upbringing.  Now I used to consider this type of statement as strictly belonging to the school of political correctness and hence having no real meaning in my life – but one incident a few months back made me reconsider.

A work colleague came into the office with her two young children, a girl just starting school, and a pre-school boy.  As a mother of boys, I naturally was captivated by the mini-man figure with all his bravado and apparent technical prowess with my own work computer.  But when the 6 year old girl had finished drawing a beautiful picture on my desk, I was quick to say how great it was.  She then said something that surprised me – “this picture is for you to take home and show your husband”.  Now that was a lovely thought – but the fact is, at the age of 6, she had no idea of my marital status or even my sexual orientation – she simply assumed, from her own stable nuclear family background, that any woman of my age would have a husband waiting at home, just for the purpose of congratulating me on my day.

Don’t get me wrong – I have no wish to question this lovely image in her mind.  But to me, IWD is about the possibilities for all women to be empowered to live the lives they chose at the time they chose in the way they chose – and to be able to fully realise their potential without the hinderance of bias and discrimination.  All of us grow up with our own experiences colouring our view of what we are and what we are capable of –  which brings me to the “Hell Yeah” moment.

Last month I was fortunate enough to attend a function in aid of 7 times World Surfing Champion Layne Beachley’s Aim for the Stars foundation.  Layne was on a panel of illustrious Australian female sporting stars that evening, and she was asked the question of how she choses between the many options she is now presented with of where to spend her valuable time.  I really loved her response, which was that if unless her natural reaction to a request is “Hell Yeah” she really thinks carefully before accepting.

I’ve taken the “Hell Yeah” as a call to action for how I want to progress in my own life and the example I want to give for my children.  If something feels right and I think I have the potential to do it, I will take a chance even though I don’t have the expertise.  If I can help someone else with a difficult time through sharing my own experiences, I will put myself out there and tell my story.  If I can show my children I can exhibit of tolerance and acceptance, I will try my hardest to demonstrate those traits.  I will not live my life wishing I had been something more, I will be something more.  I have a personal responsibility to show the next generation what it means to be the best you can be, however that looks.

It may be one day at a time, but I will not die wondering.  I WILL #makeithappen.

Hell Yeah.

 

0 CommentsLeave a comment

Eyes Up #12 – For things to change, first I must change

broccoli

Recent discussion on the numbers of women in leadership has returned to the idea of quotas – including this article:

Quotas will put women of merit in top jobs

I have often pondered why quotas are seen to be evil.  Collectively, I think we believe that we are better than that given we all understand that women are equally as talented and educated as men in Australia today.  Indeed several senior executives I have spoken too would acknowledge that women are frequently more competent and knowledgeable than men at the comparable level in their chosen fields.

My view is that we all like to believe change can happen organically as part of a natural progression, once we all recognise and acknowledge the obvious benefits.  I don’t wish to feel constrained or dictated to by artificial quotas, targets or policies – I want the freedom to run my teams and businesses in the way I think is best – right person, right role, regardless of their gender, culture or lifestyle choices.  So quotas – which are more carrot than stick – are in my view a motivation that can work.  Much as I will tell my children they must eat 2 bites of broccoli before they have dessert.  But the “broccoli quota” doesn’t actually make them like or appreciate broccoli, they just grit their teeth and get through it, or worse hide the green stuff in their pockets, with the ice cream at the end the reward.

I think any public discussion of these topics helps, but I draw the most inspiration where we seek to put responsibility for change in the hands of the individual.  Recent references include Sheryl Sandberg & Adam Grant’s article:

Speaking While Female

So I ask myself – what actions am I taking to be a catalyst for change?  For a start I’m writing this blog, which is part of my commitment in 2014 to facilitate open discussion on the issue of women in leadership.  I believe real, sustainable change will only happen when we all recognise the need for personal, individual responsibility, including calling out inappropriate behaviour when we see it.  I am a fan of the sometimes controversial Male Champions of Change initiative, because it is leveraging the status of the current male dominated ranks of CEOs in corporate Australia to model behaviour and act as catalysts to initiate change – but as individuals taking responsibility upon themselves.  So I will continue this year to create talking points wherever possible and progress my own career.

But I also recommend we keep an eye on the future and question the way we present ourselves to future generations.  We all have the ability to act as role models day in, day out to not only our own kids but others we interact with, in both the ways we act and the things we say.

I was very proud of my teenage son when he announced last year he didn’t want me to buy Tim Tams anymore because he knew eating 2 packs a week was not healthy for him.  He had taken responsibility for change himself.  I was equally proud when he noted with horror that he had just realised how many mothers of his school mates didn’t work – but told me he thought it perfectly normal that I did.  In fact he thought it was better for everyone!  That moment melted away a decade of working parent guilt.

We should never underestimate the power of the individual – and neither should we abdicate responsibility for change to a system of quotas, targets or endorsement by senior leaders.  We should all just walk the talk ourselves in whatever way we can, and remember that doing nothing is akin to endorsing the status quo.

 

0 CommentsLeave a comment

Eyes Up #10 – I believe in YOLO, but I still iron my sheets?

images

Yes it’s true.  I iron my sheets…  even on evenings like today when I have better things to do.  We all have things we do that no one else understands, and that is just one of mine.

I’ve found YOLO (that’s “you only live once” in case you’ve been living on another planet recently) a very interesting and useful acronym.  I never really understood the “LOL” plague – which had to be used with caution as it could mean either laugh out loud or lots of love depending on the context.  But YOLO really strikes a chord with me when I’m walking the line between the plan ahead, risk averse culture of my upbringing and the current generation of knowing and doing everything now before it’s too late.

To me it’s the modern version of “don’t die wondering” – if you get an opportunity, take it, as it may not come along again.  Quite a few years ago, after a few drinks, I agreed to go skydiving in place of someone else.  Great idea late one night, not so good when strapped to a madman about to jump out of a plane -I did obtain a new understanding as to why people become addicted to the adrenaline rush – but I definitely won’t be back.  But 3 years ago when I tried surfing, despite not being a water person, I discovered a new passion which has become a life changing outlet for me – all an unexpected side effect of another dare set over drinks (is there a theme there?)

But the other side of YOLO is that we need to consider the way we are living and how it impacts others in our home and workplace.  We really only get one shot at this, so as discussed in Eyes Up #9, do we want to demonstrate generosity of spirit and kindness to others and to ourselves?  In most case the answer is yes.  Particularly in the workplace this can be hard to do – balancing career opportunities with our home lives is another challenge.  I know I’ve missed some of my children’s school events because I was at work, particularly when they were younger, and as they’ve grown I’ve realised those moments will come round less and less.  So whilst I can’t be at every game and every art show, or help out at every function, I now prioritise things differently to ensure I will be involved in their school lives wholeheartedly.

So back now to my sheets – which are still waiting for me when I finish this blog.  Why do I bother to iron them? Because I love the feeling of getting into a freshly made bed with crisp sheets, and if I only live once, I want to get that feeling as often as possible.

 

0 CommentsLeave a comment

Eyes Up #9 – Generosity of Spirit, Costco and Current Events

Screen shot 2011-09-14 at 10.10.25 AMI started writing this post some time ago and it was almost finished when MH17 was gunned down over the Ukraine. For most of us, it is impossible to fully comprehend events like this, let alone explain them to our children.  We’ve nearly all flown in passenger planes, many of us on that exact route.   Collectively we all share a shake of the head, murmurs of “what’s the world coming to” and may even shed tears with our family, friends and colleagues – despite the fact the victims may not be personally known to us.

These feelings of despair, though, certainly make me lift my “Eyes Up” and take a good look around at what I have, particularly in terms of human relationships and how I chose to interact with other people day to day.  So I ask myself, am I practising generosity of spirit every day?  Am I treating people the way I would like to be treated?  Am I being “nice”? I do know that I have sometimes felt strongly enough about someone else at work, or in my family, that I approach all dealings with that person with the expectation that they will fail me in some way, or that they are actively trying to undermine me.  As a result I am rude, abrupt, negative and using defensive, barbed language before a conversation even begins.  This open hostility puts everyone on edge, breeds tension in the air, and restricts people’s responses – particularly if they are subordinate in the exchange.   My kids will clam up if they see me cranky about the fridge left open or dirty clothes on the floor – and they won’t open up about their day, tell me any good news or share any issues they have.  At work the fear culture results if team members are afraid to point out issues that invoke a negative response and too many useful comments are left unsaid.

I don’t think being “nice” is purely about wanting people to like me.  I believe it’s ultimately an authentic human way to conduct relationships – even with people who we know are not our closest friends or family.   And so to my experience at Costco – which I visited for the first time a couple of months ago.  Now I was wary of the warehouse shopping experience – expecting something similar to the carnage seen at the Boxing Day sales.  But I was wrong.  Without exception the staff and fellow customers were polite and patient.  It took an hour to get there, there were queues to sign up, you had to fetch your own trolley from the car park, and find your own way around – but everyone EXPECTED this – and they were happy about the experience, as their expectation was this was the trade off for the marvellous bargains awaiting. Once inside the store, there was some sort of strange camaraderie pervading my fellow shoppers – people opening shared overwhelmingly positive opinions on this and that, sought advice from strangers on shoes and offered guidance to the best fresh food or bargains.  Even the checkout guy stopped for a friendly chat – whilst we packed our haul into boxes ourselves.

If a warehouse shopping experience can provide this type of positive human interaction, surely we can all make a little effort every day to be positive in our attitude to all our relationships at home and work.  There will always be difficult moments where anger, conflict and frustration are present.  But this week in particular, try to be human and genuine a few times each day.  Ask people how they are, how their day is going, see what goes unsaid, and be accommodating, polite and courteous.  Chat to a stranger in the lift at work, to the cleaners after hours or the mail man.  Remind yourself that not everything in the world is bad and practise generosity of spirit – and we might all feel a little better about humanity.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

Eyes Up #8 – Celebrate Often!

champagneIt was my birthday last week.  I love birthdays, because at some point a few years back I decided that all birthdays need to be properly celebrated.  This is partly a reflection of my desire to feel special, but most importantly, I love to have an excuse to do something different, have some fun, and get together with a few people.

It’s pretty hard these days to keep your birthday a secret – social media has changed things in a way which encourages celebration.  These days I get bombarded with fantastic facebook messages, texts, tweets and emails – all because these systems have built in reminders and flags for people so very little effort is required to pass on the joy.  People have a cast iron reason just to say hi and connect – and I think it feels fabulous to receive these greetings.  Even a simple “happy birthday” from someone on the other side of the world you haven’t seen for years has that feel good factor which makes me smile.

We should all spread the joy of celebration more often than just birthdays.  It’s always more powerful in our day to day relationships to have a positive reason to connect and share – it helps us remember how many good things there are in our lives.  In my family we are in the habit of going out for BBQ ribs at  the start and end of school terms, or eating special ice cream when someone gets recognised via a merit certificate in school assembly.  Most families have these types of rituals in place for major events and milestones, but what if we take the concept further, and make it a habit to find something to celebrate once a week.

It doesn’t have to be anything big, and you don’t need to justify your actions or set a benchmark on what is worth celebrating.  Celebrate getting a report finished at work, someone going on holidays or returning, your dog’s birthday, a new coffee shop or wine bar opening up.  Jump for joy when your son scores a try at rugby or just because he tries out a new position on the field.  Create anniversary excuses to meet friends and colleagues you haven’t sat down with for a while – “it’s 5 months since you introduced me to ginger tea – let’s celebrate!”.

The lives we lead these days, particularly as busy working parents with hectic schedules, restrict our ability to connect and share informally.  Our time is carefully controlled, and it’s easy to sink into a routine where everything is focussed on things that went wrong or disrupt our carefully planned lives.  We always have too much to do and our tendency is to get grumpy, snappy and feel that the glass is half empty.  Find a positive reason to connect with someone else once a week,  get that glass half full with some metaphorical (or real!)champagne, and practise celebrating the small things so the big things don’t pass you by.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

Eyes Up #7 – Don’t forget the “ME” in “TEAM”

ID-10026966There’s no “I” in TEAM – but if you look carefully you’ll find a “ME”…. a few years back, this phrase was often bandied about accompanied by smiles and chuckles – usually in reference to someone in authority who was using the guise of encouraging teamwork to further their own interests.  Jokes aside though, maintaining our individual identities in a team environment both in the workplace and at home is a key factor in finding balance and satisfaction in our lives.  If we lose track of ourselves, we quickly start to feel taken for granted, trampled on, and resentful of others in the “team”.

I’ve always found it difficult to maintain a sense of my own identity at home.  I’m not sure if this is historically due to the hang ups inherent in being a middle child, or just that I’ve always got so much satisfaction from getting things done that I get lost in over organising everyone else and forgetting to do anything for myself.  My experience is that working parents, particularly mothers and single parents, get into the habit of putting everyone else’s needs before their own.  The other team members – in this case in the family – get used to this state of affairs, so it perpetuates – often because it is assumed that the mother or parent enjoys doing things that way, or out of fear of doing something wrong.  As a control freak, I know I’ve often dealt harshly with anyone who messed with my system, purely because I wanted to get things done as efficiently as I knew how with no tolerance for variation.  Over the years I would have snapped at anyone who stacked the dishwasher wrong, folded the towels in a way they didn’t fit into the cupboard, or put the milk in the space the juice should be in the fridge.

At work, teamwork has long been held out as an important behaviour we should display.  Again we women in particular assume that our contributions to the team will be recognised, and we often feel resentful if others are recognised as individuals.  I’ve often felt like teamwork is used as a cover for more “take” and less “give” by some individuals – leading to me channelling a “victim” mentality, withdrawing  myself from the team,  picking up my toys and leaving the playground.

It was a stark situation of personal crisis that changed my view, and with it my perception of how to preserve the “me” in all parts of my life.  As I struggled to recover, I discovered that setting my own boundaries for my interactions with teams was critical.  The boundaries I set helped me foster a feeling of control, which made me more confident.  The boundaries are tested and re-set many times, but  despite initially feeling restrictive, they have made it easier to take decisions and chose when to say yes or no to things (see EyesUp #1 for more on saying No!).

These boundaries started simple – such as controlling communication channels – for example, please text me when you want to talk, and I’ll call you when I’m ready – giving me time to prepare my response.  I’m still using this one in the workplace – screening calls when I’m busy, and only checking my email once an hour instead of constantly.  Does this show a lack of commitment to the team if I prioritise my time this way?  Not when these actions improve my ability to operate efficiently and effectively by ensuring that when I respond, I give other team members my full attention.

Has this made me a more “selfish” person?  I believe it’s actually made me a better team member.  If I feel my life is in balance, and I am in control, I am more present when contributing to the team.  I’m not wasting energy on resentful feelings or self pity, or being distracted by other issues, I’m contributing the best I can at that point in time.

Teams can be greater than the sum of their parts, and one step towards this is to ensure each team member has preserved their own sense of “me”.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

Eyes Up #3 – Life is like a box of chocolates…..

ID-10065013

 

If you’ve seen the movie Forrest Gump, you’ll smile as you remember the line “My Momma always said, Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

As a control freak, my advice would be “look at the inside of the lid Forrest, you’ll see exactly what you’re getting, no surprises”.  My rational side says don’t take the risk, do your research, consider your choice, look for your favourite first, and so on.

But this approach, whilst “safe”, misses the mark – unless you have a serious food allergy, ANY chocolate is a fabulous treat – and there is the chance you may be surprised by trying something new and finding you really love it.

At some time in our lives, it seems most of us stop taking risks and stick to what we know and are comfortable with.  Of course, I’ve encouraged my kids to “try things” when I’ve considered it appropriate – try this fish, or a different vegetable, a new sport or a new musical instrument; their privileged upbringing allows them many opportunities.  It’s easy to discuss how stepping outside our comfort zone – just a little – has benefits at home and work.  But what happens when life serves up things we didn’t plan for and can’t control?  Serious illness, accidents, redundancies, relationship breakdowns, financial problems.  These things have not been packaged up and delivered with a bow from Cadbury online; they happen to ordinary people we all know each and every day, often out of the blue.

This is the point where I think Momma Gump has it right.  Life is unpredictable; you can plan and try to control what you can, but as Forrest’s story shows, eventually amazing things can happen as a result of even tragic events.  In my case, the movie wasn’t enough – when crisis hit me hard I needed several well qualified medical practitioners, some medication and some very good friends to get my mind to realise the glass is ALWAYS half full.  But once that realisation really hit home, it has become incredibly powerful in all areas of my life.

Growing up in England I was hardly a water baby – once living in Sydney, I was at best suspicious of the surf – by no means comfortable in the water.  But my newly liberated, post medicated self was persuaded a few years ago to take up the challenge to try surfing.  Totally ridiculous you might think – but that first day getting pounded in the white water unleashed a previously hidden surf chick, and struggling bruised (and bleeding!) from the shallows that first day I had unexpectedly found a new passion.

If you’d told me even 5 years ago what my life would look like today, I would have chuckled politely, rolled my eyes and shown you to the door.  Sure, I’ve been to some dark places, and challenges exist very day – but life is surprising, delightful and full of unexpected joy – largely because I no longer look at the inside of the chocolate box lid, I keep my eyes up and just dive on in.

2 CommentsLeave a comment

Eyes Up #2 – Why I must learn to network like a man

next-generation-talent-networking-550x184

As we move to increase the representation of women in senior management and on boards, deep and supportive networks are held out as being one of the keys to long term success. Networks provide ongoing mentors, sponsors and above all opportunities if we’re well positioned. But recently I was left wondering why I find it so unnatural to network like a man.

I attended a panel discussion held at work on the topic of workplace flexibility in professional services.  The panel comprised female senior and managing partners in large law firms and consulting practices, and it was surprising to find that I already knew 2 of the panelists and another attendee from an external firm – because our sons have all played in the same cricket team at school.  Whilst it was lovely to say hello and chat, it felt very unusual and slightly uncomfortable to see these people out of their usual context, discussing topics which we wouldn’t usually touch on.  I came to the conclusion that my natural bias is to put my network into boxes – work, school, home, family, sports – because my subconscious dictates that it is inappropriate for these things to overlap in any way.

Thinking back, I recalled a school cocktail party for my eldest son’s year 1 class.  My then husband, himself in professional services, embarrassed me by discussing his firm’s abilities with the host, an accomplished investment banker – a conversation that ended with exchange of contact details and a promise to follow up.  But why was I embarrassed by this? Both parties were happy to chat briefly about how they might do business together – indeed the host took me aside later to mention how impressed he was with the approach – and the subsequent follow up resulted in new business being transacted.  But to my subconscious, such approaches should only be made in a business context, and I was left feeling that such discussions were out of place in that social setting.

As working parents, we end up with networking opportunities that spread far and wide – workplaces, clients, suppliers, family, friends, neighbours, school/childcare, sporting teams, the list goes on…. but as women, it feels like we naturally divide these groups up into neat segments of our lives.  On closer consideration, I think I’ve used this as an unconscious coping mechanism to keep my mind focused on the task at hand – when I’m on the cricket sidelines I should be watching my son and only making casual chit chat with everyone else, I would need explicit permission to discuss anything even vaguely related to work or career.

There is only one conclusion – massive opportunities exist to expand my network into more meaningful areas – as most men would do naturally.   All that is required is to have the courage to strike up conversations on topics other than our kids’ teachers, the weather, our holiday plans or the latest renovation – and see what unfolds.

Starting this blog is part of my journey to invite discussion and feedback on these types of topics – so please follow my blog via this site or Twitter @eyesup2014 – and get in on the conversation!

3 CommentsLeave a comment

Eyes Up #1 – When is the right time to say NO?

no-68481_1920Why the blog I hear you ask? I’m a 40 something working parent with things to share. But this is not about my story – although I’m sure bits of my personal journey will come out along the way – this blog is here because the world is a place where how people relate to each other matters, and by sharing thoughts, ideas and feedback, even in this fast food format, we can be better equipped to make choices in life we are comfortable with, whatever they may be. So don’t spend your time looking down and pondering your toes, keep your Eyes Up and look around you – sometimes you’ll see things that will challenge, surprise, inspire and delight you!

I’d like to start my first entry with a Bible Quote from Ecclesiastes:
“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, … a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance….” and so on – to which I would add, there is a time to say NO. The ability to say NO to things in our working life has long been touted as a required skill for time management, but being a glass half full type of person, saying NO has always seemed to summon up overly negative vibes for me. So is it possible to say NO in a positive way?

Saying NO to things can make you feel in control and get people’s attention fast – but in my experience it can also lead to people avoiding or going around you, as well as seeing you in a negative light – which in a work and home environment can lead to frustration and resentment for all involved. Hence we tend to lean towards bargaining rather than the outright NO, for example – I’ll handle that query for you if you ensure my document is approved, or you can have ice cream for dessert if you eat all your vegetables.

But saying NO to things can yield surprising results – for me, saying NO to driving my car to work every day not only produced cost savings but gave me time to tune out and rest on the way to and from work; my kids learnt more independence in travelling by bus and working out their own way home from various places.

Why is this type of NO a win? Used in this way, NO is not a time management tool – and I’m a big advocate of positive time management – but in this case, saying NO was a valid choice. The choice had pros and cons, was well considered, and still contained flexibility – if I chose to, I CAN still drive my car to work – for example when one of my kids needs to be somewhere before the bus can reasonably get him there, or when I need to be home at a very specific time.

So I consider saying NO not as a power play, but as a valid, positive, choice when exercised at the right moment.

I’d love to hear your views on using NO – and get comments and feedback on Eyes Up – so post or get in touch!

3 CommentsLeave a comment